It's nearly as impossible to describe meditation to the uninitiated as it is to describe sex to the virgin and it should be because it's something that has to be experienced to fully comprehend but unlike sex, it can be experienced at any time and with no costs or accessories. Also (like sex) it's a helpful tool to help reduce tension that one can continue to practice until one's dying breath (unlike sex).
It's not fun to think about letting go of your personality but at the same time, it does seem like something we'll all be faced with doing at the end of our lives when we're too sick to be cured by the material things the world has to offer and we'll have no choice but to focus 100% on the otherworldly. I like to focus on it while I'm feeling well--kind of like preparing for a test a little bit each day instead of waiting until the last minute.
Our fucked up, stupid languages don't even come close to being able to communicate what we're really feeling because our inner world/emotions are too fucking complex to be expressed with words or any other art form including music, painting, dance, etc. Plus, when we do use words or other symbols to communicate, it's all too easy to confuse the words (which are nothing more than symbols) with the actual world itself. And even dancing, music, and other art forms are misinterpreted.
I wish I could ask someone to do it for me but I'm glad I don't have to dealwith anyone so this is the price I pay for not wanting to deal with people. I mean, if I had a perfect person to do this for me, they'd have to get my card, drive there, pick it up, drive back here, and drive back home and also there'd be talk time with me. It could take 1/2 hour to 1 hour of someone's time depending on how far they lived. And, most importantly, I'd have to deal with that person for 10-30 minutes and I don't want to deal with anyone--even 10 minutes with someone perfect!
John's mom asks, "How do you identify your race?” John says, “Say you’re pink” and I try not to laugh out loud. John actually sounds like he has a sense of humor similar to mine. I didn’t say he has a good sense of humor because I don’t judge my sense of humor as good and others’ as bad. They say that when you write, you should “show it” and not just say it and I think I’m showing very well here that people are my #1 distraction. By the way, John has to pick up Tyler today! It’s five minutes til 2 o’clock right now. I know this because John's mom just told him. They’re interacting now and I’m not sure what they’re talking about because I'm busy typing/reporting about how they’re a great distraction. I’ll try to listen better so I can report back to you, my invisible, future audience but they’ve stopped speaking again.
Sit and spin. You can do it on a plastic toy or you can spend what you've defined as "too much time" sitting/pacing and spinning as an adult.
Cultivate self-awareness because it’s not humanly possible for anyone to care about you more than you, yourself.